December 31, 2008

Here we are again: another December 31st, another year ending. In a few short hours from now (well, 8 1/2, for anyone counting), it'll be the year 2009. Man, where has the time gone? I still remember starting first grade back in 1989, for God's sake.

Anyway, as appears to be customary for me, I have entered into an inexplicably depressing mood for the last couple of days -- I've never liked New Year's, because I'm not a fan of change and I don't appreciate the enforced year change...but I don't get it this time, because I'm not feeling so particularly attached to 2008 that I'm sorry to see it go.

Not that the entire year was awful, though. There was a lot of good: trips to Austria and New York, good times with friends, some good times with family [which may or may not have been offset by an equal amount of annoying times with family, but that's the way family is and we gotta love 'em], big changes like moving out on my own... but I don't know. I feel like there were a lot of changes this year and yet somehow nothing's changed. And I'm just feeling blue (da ba dee) [and if you got that reference, you're way too old, much like I am, because that song was out 10 years ago].

I'm sure this mood will pass after the New Year's festivities are over and things go back to relative normality. You know, as far as things are ever considered "normal" around these parts.

Hope you all have a wonderful New Year's -- hopefully I haven't brought anyone's mood down by sharing my thoughts on my own -- and see you all on the flipside!

Happy 2009!

Labels: bad days, general, thoughts

Accio HBP!

Noooooo, Harry Potter 6 is being moved to July 17, 2009! Whhhyyyyyyy? Dude, that was one of the only things I had to look forward to between, like, September to next summer. Gaaaaah!

*sighmutterfrownscowl*

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So other than that, I had a fairly productive day, I guess. Went to get a haircut -- last time I went was November -- then went to take a new photo for my passport and managed to buy a new black dress that (a) actually fits me and (b) looks decent. So it's all good. I say "managed to buy", by the way, because I am one of the worst, pickiest, uninterested shoppers ever, unless I'm shopping for something completely uninvolving like books or movies or CDs. Basically, I'm just lazy. :) Shoes and bags are growing on me a bit.

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I don't like feeling so uncertain all the time about everything. Exams, life, work... it's probably like this for everyone, but I don't know...I just wish I was...more comfortable? I wouldn't say I'm not happy, necessarily, just that it always feels like everything's a bit off from where I'd like it to be.

Labels: general, harry potter, movies, thoughts

Well, at least after my morning cup of tea, anyway

I'm beginning to realize that when I wake up in the mornings, I'm actually usually in a relatively good mood...and then I talk to my parents. Some days I don't even have to see them before my mood is gone -- I can usually hear them from my room before I actually see them. It's always either one or both of them, and they'll just say something or tell me something that will just rub me the wrong way, and, well, there you go.

I think I might actually be a morning person after all, but I don't know for sure.


Going to my bro's place to study today. Pros: no computer, no TV. Cons: no food, Xbox 360, the fact that in the absence of a computer and cable TV, I still have a bookshelf of my books over there. :P Wish me luck. (Exam's on Monday! =/)

P.S. - In the meantime, may I point out that the Movie Quotes Meme I posted way back in October was never finished? In case anyone wants to take a crack at it, it's here. :)

Labels: exams, general, thoughts

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 9:39PM

Have you ever had so much to say that you cannot possibly say any of it? I know that sounds stupid, but I've always found that when there's a lot going on all at once, I never write any of it down. Entire years, for instance, are missing from my journal, and it is in those years that, perhaps, I've had the hardest times. In my first-year English class, we learned about absence vs. presence in The Turn of the Screw and what it meant of the importance of events to the narrator based on whether they were described or left out. God, I miss English class. I don't miss essays, really, although I sort of do.

I wonder what has happened to my creativity over the years; I think I used to be an at least half-decent writer back in the wonder years, but now I can't even formulate complete stories, not even just in my head. Occasionally I can see a perfect vision of a single scene in my head, but when I write it down it seems wrong, or maybe sometimes it turns out fine but then there's still the problem of there not being a rest of the story. It's just the one scene.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure the only thing holding me back is me. I should just get over it, right? You'd think that if the only problem is me, then I should be able to stop myself from, well, stopping me. If that makes any sense. I'm afraid to do the things that I think I might want to do, because it's too risky and I've probably never taken a risk in my life. I wouldn't trade who I am for anything, but sometimes I really hate the problems I cause for myself.

I worry about the children growing up these days, and the state of the world they are growing up in. They have never known a world without high-speed Internet and rampant cellphone use and Heaven knows if they'll ever write a letter with old-fashioned pen and paper and send it by post. They'll be too busy sending e-mails or playing games so realistic-looking you can't tell they aren't actually real at all.

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Sorry the above is so disjointed. I typed all of that on my work laptop a week ago while I had a rather large headache and after thinking deep thoughts all the way back to Toronto from Cornwall. I couldn't help it; my Snicket book only lasted me an hour, and then I was left up to my own devices for about another 3 hours. The above is the rather train-of-thought-ish result of that...those are just pieces of complete thoughts, really, and there is likely more that I could say about all of those things, but that's what I've got here for now, in all its [mostly-]unedited glory.

As Izzy once told me, if I'm hesitating now on actually posting this, that's the surest sign that I should go ahead and just do it. So here goes, I suppose.

P.S. In other news, I won two free passes to watch an advance screening of the movie 300 on Monday. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see that, but hell, free movie? Sign me up! Heh.

Labels: general, thoughts